I can follow directions - see, a blog!

So, maybe you’ve noticed.  I started a blog. 

WHAT!

Why would you do that?

Because this book told me to. 

And I love doing things that people tell me to do.

Like that time my Dad told me NOT to ride my bike around in the garage and I most certainly followed his wise advice so as NOT to hit his very expensive car with my bright blue Schwinn.

Or that time my cousin, Sarah, recommended I NOT ride her new Strawberry Shortcake bicycle over a large curb.  

Sorry, Sarah.  I still feel bad about that.  But seriously?  How finely could that bicycle have been crafted if it completely imploded upon itself?  Maybe I did you a favor by saving you the shame of riding such a clearly sub-quality product.  

Maybe.

Or that time my good friend, Shana, advised that I stop playing Jezzball and study for my Physics final so that I could get a grade better than a D and go to medical school.

As you know, I am NOT a doctor.

But I AM awesome at jezzball.

Or that time EVERYONE told me I should NOT get a dog….

Well.

Here is my stupid dog.

So, I maybe directions are not my strength.

But in all fairness, most of the people I spend my time with have a similar struggle.

Like these two characters:

I told them to pick up their clothes.

Or this guy:

I told him not to eat that doll. 

Or this one. 

But, back to my point.  I am older now, and find value in other people's advice.  So I am writing this blog, which would be going significantly faster if my dog would stop hunting dolls.  

Stupid dog.

So please, read my blog, or ask your dog to read my blog.  Or, even better, if you have a fancy publishing friend, ask them!  I'm not above shamelessly marketing my idea.  Well, I do have limits.  I will not twerk. 

Or wear clothes made of meat.  

Maybe Pringles, but that is for a different day.