But Daddy Can Juggle

So, Jane is “star student” this week and as start student, she is able to bring someone in for show and tell.  Every year they choose Daddy.  Every year.  Did I say every year? 

How come you guys always choose Daddy?

Blank stares

Awkward silence

Because it says you are supposed to come in and talk about your job.  You don’t have a job.

Right.

As I wash their dishes, organize their homework for the next day, and contemplate folding all their clothes, I continue to argue my case.

But you never want Daddy to talk about his job.

Daddy’s job is boring.  I want him to juggle.

Why don’t you want Mommy to come and talk about her hobbies?

Blank stares again.

Mommy plays tennis?

Okay, so they have actually seen me play tennis, and are probably fairly unimpressed by my awesome skills on the court.

Mommy knits hats?  This stuff is legitimate quality – with REAL button eyes sewn on….AND ear flaps – the whole nine yards.   PROFESSIONAL.

Okay, so maybe yarn and wood sticks aren’t terribly exciting.

Mommy can make delicious pies FROM SCRATCH?  Apple pies, meat pies, berry cherry pies, pumpkin pies, even those ridiculous French silk pies that Daddy likes that really aren’t pie, but pudding in a crust.

Again, awkward silence.

But Daddy can juggle.

Don’t you guys feel bad that you never pick Mommy?

Don’t worry Mom, we’ll pick you next year.  Oh, wait, they don’t do star student anymore after second grade...

Awkward glances around the table.

Seriously.  Fine.  Daddy can juggle .